That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
