I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
