Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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