Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I've blown a few things in my day
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
