Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
