I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
