I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
