Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This is my gift to your gina
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
