We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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