I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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