no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
