I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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