Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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