Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
A bitchslap is in order.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
