I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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