i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
