Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
