Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
