walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
