It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize