1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
