I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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