I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
