haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
