my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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