hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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