i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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