he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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