yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My balls are so social today.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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