its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
