left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
