i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize