what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize