No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
