I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
