i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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