If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
