at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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