I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
