he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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