i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
