It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
