girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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