I met the friendliest cop last night
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
