Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
