So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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