i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We left the knife in your bed.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize