Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
