chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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