it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
