so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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