Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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