Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
