3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
