I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
