I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
These tits shall not be calmed
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