Nicole vs. Life
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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