What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
