I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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